


The Struggles of Coming Out

by PastelStars



Category: Diary of a Future President (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Coming Out, First Kiss, Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Tennis Boyfriends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28866702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelStars/pseuds/PastelStars
Summary: "So, we're starting High School soon. I mean, you already knew that, but I meant-""I like...tennis?""Do you want to go out? I mean outside, somewhere, not,"Bobby has finally come to terms with his sexuality, but now has to deal with coming out
Relationships: Bobby Cañero-Reed/Liam Carter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. Talking in the Mirror

Mom and Sam were working more. Elena was hanging out with Jessica and Sasha everyday. This gave Bobby the perfect excuse to practice every morning. Practice what? Trying to say what he wanted to tell everyone so badly.

After a few weeks, he had figured it out. But it was still so hard to say. Everytime he stood in front of the mirror, he froze. He couldn't do it, no matter how hard he tried. Today he tried typing what he wanted to say on his phone, but that didn't work. So he just kept on practicing.

"So, we're starting High School soon. I mean, you already knew that, but I meant-"  
"I like...tennis?"  
"Do you want to go out? I mean outside, somewhere, not,"

He sighed in frustration. Bobby wasn't getting anywhere, and he didn't want to start the school year without at least coming out to Liam. Maybe he could tell someone else, but who? He couldn't tell his friends, they never really talked about anything personal. He was afraid of what his mom would think. He didn't think she would have a problem with it, but it was still hard. Elena was a definite no. She could never keep a secret.

He went to his bedroom and decided to repeat the words to himself. He grabbed the tennis ball Liam gave him and tossed it. "Listen. I, I don't want this to ruin whatever we have. But I-" and he heard the door open. Bobby panicked, put down the tennis ball, and went to go see who it was.

Sam had come. He was a bit relieved, but still hoped that he hadn't heard anything. "Hey Bobby. Just came to pick up a few stuff". He nodded. "Yeah, of course. Chill". Sam gave him a look. "You ok? You seem kind of tense". Bobby hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. "Is this about that same friend?". The two sat on the couch. "I just can't tell them yet". "Maybe you should take things slow".

He thought about it for a moment. Could he? Maybe he could tell his friends that he and Monyca with-a-y broke up. Or he could just try to say the 'g-word' to himself. "I don't know". "Well, what is this about exactly? Do you like the same girl?". Bobby shook his head. He already knew what the next question was.

He got increasingly nervous. What would Sam say when he found out he liked a guy? Maybe he wouldn't care. But there was always a small chance that something would go wrong. "Do you like them?". He slowly nodded. And now came the worst part. "Maybe you should tell her?". "It's, it's not,". His voice was barely a whisper. He couldn't back out now. Sam would figure it out eventually. "It's not a girl". There. He said it. No way to take it back now.

"Oh, ok. You know that's fine, right?". Bobby nodded, but his eyes were filled with tears. "Well, who is it? Don't worry, you don't have to tell me". "Liam". "Well, he seems like a nice kid. He won't care. Maybe you should at least come out to him". "But, what do I tell my friends? Elena, Mom". His voice started breaking at the end. Bobby ended up crying on Sam's shoulder. They sat there for a few minutes.  
“Tell them when you’re ready” said Sam. He nodded. “And Bobby, I’m proud of you”. Bobby looked up and nodded. They said goodbye and left. He had finally told someone, but now what?

====================

“Me and Monyca with-a-y broke up”  
“I’m not really into girls”

After coming out to Sam, he started making progress. Bobby finally managed to say something, but still failed when it came to the “g-word”. Why? He had come out to someone, he figured everything out, but it was still hard. One more time he thought to himself. He looked at himself in the mirror. Nervous, he didn’t know why, but not backing out. “I’m...I’m gay”. Just as he said that Elena walked in.

He turned to face her and the two just stared at each No, this wasn’t what was supposed to happen. He was supposed to wait for the right moment. And that certainly wasn’t now. Finally, Elena spoke. “So,”. “Can’t I have some privacy in this house?”. “You’re changing the subject”. “No I’m not. Maybe you should try knocking”. “Bobby!”.

He wasn’t sure how he should feel. Shocked, angry, confused. He seemed to be feeling a mix of these. She wasn’t supposed to be here. She wasn’t supposed to have heard anything. But it was too late, Elena knew. And as always, she was right. He was changing the subject. It seemed to be some sort of habit at this point.

He walked to his bedroom. Elena followed him. “Anyone else here?”. “Just us”. “So,”. “I’m gay”. It was a bit easier to say this time. “Does anyone else know?”. “Just you and Sam”. She nodded. “Sorry for coming in like that”. He shook his head. “You were gonna find out sooner or later”. “How long have you known?”. “I just figured it out”.

“Are you gonna tell mom?”. That hadn’t crossed his mind. He hated the fact that she was the last of them to know. “Not planning to”. Bobby was too scared. She was in a much better place right now. She was getting better cases, had worked through the difficulties of her new relationship, and seemed happy. He didn’t want to ruin that.

“You have to tell her at some point. She’ll accept you”. “I guess. But,”. There was always a small chance she wouldn’t be ok with it. “You’re scared”. “Yeah”. She sat next to him on the bed. “Well, you can always talk to me”. “I know”. She hugged him, and for a moment he knew he was gonna be ok.


	2. Telling him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby finally decides to come out to Liam

Coming out was exhausting. Just the idea was exhausting. He was tired by the end of the week, and wanted a break from everything. So in the afternoon he would go out to play tennis at the nearby park. It was a stress reliever, and a good distraction.  
Bobby didn’t want to explain to his mom why he broke up with Monyca with-a-y. And he certainly didn’t want to talk about what he did all morning. He just said ‘read, play video games’ and was quiet for the rest of dinner.

Everytime he thought about saying something to his mom, Bobby changed his mind. There was always something that just wasn’t right. So Gabi remained oblivious, while the rest of them gave each other looks at the dinner table.

He grabbed his tennis racket and left. He practiced and practiced, hoping that he could make the high school team. But then he thought about having to be on the same team as- “Bobby”. He heard footsteps approaching him. Liam. 

He hadn’t really seen him since the end of the school year. Bobby hadn’t seen Danny or Ziggy either. Was he avoiding them? Or did he just need a break? Liam approached him. “It’s been a while”. “Yeah. “Wanna play?”. “Sure”.

The two played for a while. They ended up in a tie, just like always. Bobby realized just how much he had been thinking about him. It was too much to be normal. So why hadn’t he just reached out? Maybe he was just too scared.

They ended up walking in the park. “So, how was your trip?” asked Bobby. “A little weird. I mean, my mom and my brothers were happy to see me. But my dad? Not so much. We stayed for only a week. Which was good, I wanted to come back. And my dad and grandma don’t get along”.

“How come?”. “Let’s just say my father has some different views on stuff”. They kept walking. “So, how was your break?”. Weird, confusing, stressful, worst break I’ve ever had. “Chill. Just played video games”. 

They talked about classes, video games, tennis try outs .But Bobby was thinking about Liam. How he made him feel nervous at times. How he was the only person Bobby could trust. And how he cheered him up in the storage closet. But somehow, he just couldn’t say anything yet.

“You’re kind of quiet, Bobby”. Well, maybe he could tell Liam. Not everything, though. “Truth it, break has been kind of hard”. “Why?”. They stopped. “There’s something I have to tell you”. “What is it?”. “I’m gay”. And maybe this was a big mistake. “And, I like you. Like as in more than a friend.. You don’t have to be friends with me anymore, it’s fine I-". "Bobby, it's fine. And I've been meaning to tell you something". He was relieved, but wondered what Liam would say".

"I'm bi". Well, this was unexpected. And Liam kissed him. It was just the two of them. And this is what Bobby's first kiss should've been like. So many things that had been going through his mind stopped.

It felt like fireworks  
====================

School had started, his first year in High School. Bottom of the food chain, but at least he didn’t have to share a school with Elena. 

They had gone on a date the other day. The two had gone to the park and hung out there for the day. They were there for hours just talking. It felt different, and nice.  
One thing that Bobby couldn't get off his mind though were the dirty looks he got when getting smoothies. The girl had asked him who he was getting the second smoothie for and he said his boyfriend.

The girl didn't care, but three guys had given him weird looks. Bobby told himself that he would just have to get used to it. Saying that didn't make him feel any better.

Bobby and Liam met up at school with Danny and Ziggy. They had a few classes together which made all of the meet and greets less awkward. They were leaving school when Bobby saw early sign up for tennis. "Hey, tennis try outs" he said, walking over to the bulletin board. "We thought you already signed up" said Danny. All three of them nodded. Bobby shrugged. "I should do it now". He got a pen and was about to sign his name when he felt someone tall standing behind him.

He turned around and saw one of the guys from the park looking down at him. He grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. He started calling him slurs as people came to listen, staying a few feet away of course. He could hear a few gasps and whispers, but wasn't able to see what was happening. The guy pushed him against the wall and let go of him. Bobby ran home as fast as he could.

He locked the door and looked out the window, no one was there and the house was empty. He went to his bedroom and sat on the floor.

He felt as if he was dying. He could feel himself get sweaty and dizzy. There were moments when his vision when black, but then it was as if the world was spinning too quickly. His hands were shaking and he felt lightheaded. Bobby couldn't feel himself breathing.

This was a nightmare, and he wanted it all to end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the support I've been given for my first chapter! Sorry this took so long

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! Sorry if it was bad, it's my first fanfic. I'll be adding new chapters soon


End file.
